The Good Girl’s Guide to Rough Sex

It's OK to take a risk.

Who doesn't love that scene featuring Brad and Angelina in Mr. and Mrs. Smith?  You know, the one where they master the art of crazy-fierce sex. While it all looks hot AF on camera, you might be worried that things could get too out of hand (or just plain awkward) during an aggressive roll in the hay. But don't stress, here's what you need to know.
Why Rough Sex Can Be Super Hot
Obviously, true harm is not acceptable in sexual experiences, but we might feel compelled to conquer our partner or to be conquered. Though the term "predatory aggression" sounds a bit scary, it's actually a healthy form of aggression in sex. A man might feel so aroused by you that he wants to squeeze you and have his energy engulf you.
Each of us has a deep driving instinct to stay safe, so openly inviting someone to dominate us reduces our control over our own safety—which can make rough sex kind of a thrill. You can fuel intense passion with your partner by nudging each other to the edge of your comfort zones.
How to Keep Aggressive Sex in Check
To keep throw-me-down-tie-me-up sex from feeling too intimidating, try easing into it. Here are some guidelines to help you explore rough sex in a healthy way:
1. Build slowly. You can start with slightly risky behaviors and build on those as you cultivate trust with each other. Practice what you did a few more times with the same intensity. If you felt bad or closed off after the act, that's not good. Discuss what felt "off" and why.
2. Let your natural instincts lead the way. There's no need to sensor yourself. If either of you hurts the other's feelings, listen to each other, apologize, note that particular boundary, and get back to being as risky as you can.
3. Take a few chances. While respect and consent are critical, you'll need to push your comfort zone a little. Let your shared fantasies of finding the perfect aggression balance spark between you.
4. Let go and trust yourself. After talking about what you want, go for it! Trust your instincts and then ask for it.
5. Prepare for awkwardness. If you haven't practiced being aggressive, you'll almost certainly feel a little weird at first. But just be honest. No criticizing or shaming allowed.
6. Take turns. Practice yielding to your partner's aggressive dominance, and then lead with your own. Be sure to speak up if your partner oversteps the bounds. Likewise, ease up if your partner says you've gone too far. You can always return to aggressive play later.

4 Threesome Tips From the Woman Who Let Her BFF Try Her Boyfriend's Penis

Lena the Plug is back with important advice for three-ways

YouTube personality Lena Nersesian—a.k.a. “Lena the Plug”—first gained notoriety over the summer when she openly admitted to allowing her best friend Emily “try” her boyfriend’s penis on for size.
“Friends tell each other everything,” Nersessian said in the viral video, which currently has more than 10 million views. “So Emily has seen pictures of Adam’s dick, she knows all about our sex life, I tell her everything. And now, I don’t have to tell her, she can just try his penis.”
Now, the YouTuber has once again found herself in the center of the internet spotlight thanks to a brand-new collaboration with her boyfriend Adam, where the two share their tips and tricks to having a successful threesome. Here are just a few pieces of three-way wisdom they shared:
1. Your Focus Should Be on Your Partner
“You need to keep centered on the fact that this experience is supposed to heighten you and your partner having sex, not be an alternative,” Adam explained. “Focus on your partner and show her she’s the center of your attention.”
2. Communication and Honesty Are Key
According to the couple, communication is key—and you should never push the idea of a threesome onto an unwilling partner. “Never push the issue until it’s awkward,” Adam said.
“I wouldn’t bring it up unless the girl has expressed interest in hooking up with other girls in general,” Lena added. (Here's what to do if she agrees to a threesome.)
2. Communication and Honesty Are Key
According to the couple, communication is key—and you should never push the idea of a threesome onto an unwilling partner. “Never push the issue until it’s awkward,” Adam said.
“I wouldn’t bring it up unless the girl has expressed interest in hooking up with other girls in general,” Lena added. (Here's what to do if she agrees to a threesome.)
4. Use Protection
Of all Lena and Matt's threesome advice, perhaps their most important is to make sure you bring protection. (We recommend these LELO HEX Condoms.)
“This is a conversation you want to have beforehand,” Adam said. “It’s something you really want to be on the same page with.”

Here's the Major Reason Why Dating Apps Aren't Working for You

A new study says that apps that uses sophisticated algorithms to determine compatibility are less reliable than you think

If you've ever gone a date with someone you met online and they rejected you by saying, "it's not you, it's me," we have good news: they weren't lying, and it might not have been your fault. In fact, the authors of an August study have determined that dating app algorithms basically can't predict compatibility at all.
The authors of the Psychological Science study tested their own questionnaire-based attraction algorithm and discovered that their well-educated guesses couldn’t predict anything about what would happen after two strangers actually met for the first time.
To find out whether algorithms could predict mutual attraction, the researchers used 100 self-reported traits and partner preferences (for instance, "I enjoy binge-watching Game of Thrones") to predict a degree of variance in the choices of two strangers who then met in real life for four-minute speed dates. While the researchers didn’t specify whether the algorithm was based on a particular dating app, it sounds pretty similar to the one used by OKCupid, which uses a complex set of data to determine your compatibility with another user. (Here are the biggest mistakes you're making on Tinder, by the way.)
Using the statistical model, the researchers were able to predict fairly well the degree to which someone desired another person, and they were also able to somewhat accurately predict the degree to which someone else liked them. However, after researchers talked to both parties after the date ended, their responses were completely unpredictable, especially when it came to determining whether they were interested in pursuing a relationship with each other.
Dating apps and websites often boast about the efficacy of these secret sauce algorithms. But when you actually compare an algorithm’s predictions and speed daters' actual assessments of each other, it's clear that all the swiping in the world isn't all that effective. So basically, if you really want to use dating apps, don’t put too much stock in personalized questionnaires that promise to find your Mrs. or Mr. Right.

7 Creepy Things You Should Never Do When You Meet a Woman

This stuff should be obvious, but judging by this reddit thread, it's not

When you're meeting a woman for the first time, it shouldn't be hard to strike up a simple conversation that doesn't weird her out. Unfortunately, some guys seem to be missing the mark.
That's the only possible conclusion we can draw from a recent reddit thread that asked: "Women, what are common ways unfamiliar men make you uncomfortable or creeped out?" The questioned garnered thousands of responses with tales of intolerable behavior from men, and we've collected some of them here so you can make sure you never, ever follow in their footsteps.
Just stop catcalling. It never, ever works.
From socampo32214: "A stranger cat calling me from his truck the other day when I was driving home. He would speed up or slow down to keep pace with me. Yelling at me through his window and honking his horn. I was finally able to slam on my brakes and he stopped, but how annoying. I'm in Texas and I wouldn't dream of doing anything like that to someone because we like our self defense weapons here."
Don't make jokes about a woman’s ethnicity.
From Anomalous_Amygdalae: "Make creepy comments/assumptions because of my ethnicity. When I tell some men about my nationality they go: Ooooooh Latina... And make weird comments involving the word 'Caliente'... Asking me if I like to dance reggueaton (while being in a work environment), as if by being reminded of my heritage, I'll suddenly snap and go Shakira on their dick."
Never touch a woman unless you’re explicitly invited to.
From Corrievrechan: “Overly familiar touching. For instance, I was doing First Aid training in a pretty small class. Just me, one male and one female teacher, and two guys who were also in training. One of the guys would do stuff like put his arm around my waist or shoulder while one of the teachers was talking. I was 15, he was 17 or 18, and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn't know him at all, and we had barely spoken to each other. I never said anything about it, just waited for the class to end so I would never have to see him again. These days I would yell at a guy who tried that.”
Don't be a social media stalker.
From timmehjimmeh7: "I'm not sure how common this is, but when I took my car in to my dealership for my service, I gave my keys to the mechanic and went inside to wait without saying anything to him. Late that day, I got a friend request on social media. He had apparently taken my professional car file to figure out who I was and find me. This file also has my address and phone, so I was pretty worried and creeped out."
Don't hug when a handshake is more appropriate.
From griffalow: "I work in the television industry and often find myself working with all male crews when filming on location. Most of the men greet each other by hand-shaking, but when it comes to greeting me, nine times out of ten they go in for a hug or kiss on the cheek. It makes me feel as though they're seeing me differently to other members of the crew and that's the part that makes me feel uncomfortable. I obviously want to be viewed as equal, and even though it's a small thing it makes me realize that I'm being seen as different because of my gender. Anyone else experienced this too?"
Don't stare at women's chest. It's rude and creepy—and they know you're doing it.
From Tiredofstandingstill: "When they talk to you and try to look you in the eye but keep glancing at your boobs. I'm not blind and I never have my cleavage out, probably due to people just staring, so now I wear t-shirts with a jumper or coat on and you still catch them trying to look. Pisses me off, I'm covered up and they still perv."
If she's wearing headphones, she doesn't want to talk to you about anything—and certainly not about marriage.
From sociablebot: "One of the worst transit experiences I've had was with someone like this. I was wearing headphones, had my backpack in my seat next to me, and was playing Animal Crossing on my [Nintend] 3DS. When he asked to sit next to me, I moved my bag because that's what you do on a bus that always gets super crowded even though there were other available seats at the time.
He waited until the bus went express and then starts talking to me. I kept one earbud in and kept playing my game and just giving the same non-answer to everything he asked me. He went from just telling me things about his life to asking about my opinion on arranged marriages and how he should talk to my dad to arrange a marriage with me. Right before he got off, he asked for my Facebook. I told him I didn't believe in social media. I was planning my exit strategy and was going to get off before my stop and go into a building I knew I could get help at. Thankfully he got off a stop before that."

Meet the Sex Witch Who Wants to Use Magic to Enhance Your Orgasm

The former exotic dancer wants to help you find a deeper, sexual connection

They say that the bedroom is where the magic happens, but one woman named Shaney Marie is trying to bring literal meaning to that old saying by using spells and other pagan rituals to unlock a better sexual experience, the Mirror reports. After working as an exotic dancer for years, Marie is now exploring the art of witchcraft and its applications in our sex lives. The Melbourne, Australia, "priestess" serves as a sexual guru to a wide range of clientele who are apparently seeking greater fulfillment and better orgasms in their intimate lives.
Marie, who identifies as not only pansexual but also eco-sexual, made the professional pivot due to feelings of disillusionment she experienced while working in a strip club.
"Modern strip clubs are a power play," she told the Mirror. "Men objectify women, but women objectify them with their wallets. It is no longer a place of love and there is not a lot of respect on either side of the sexes. I decided to return to the older roots and bring on an awakening."
By bringing us back to a more natural, intimate approach, Marie hopes to reconnect us with our more erotic selves. How, exactly, will she nurture those identities, though? Erotic dancing, sex toys, crystals, and prayers at "love-altars.""Sex witchery involves using ancient pagan ways of being to unlock greater pleasure pathways," she explained. "Spell crafting can involve boosting pleasure. It is is one of the most powerful forces you can experience."
Though she's only offering her services in Australia at the moment, Marie reportedly plans to visit Amsterdam, London, Berlin, and Ireland in the near future. However, if you're geographically locked-out from meeting her in person, she apparently also offers Skype consultations, as well. If you take Marie at her word, it sounds like you'll start believing in magic in no time.

7 Ways to Make Your Girlfriend Feel Less Self-Conscious In Bed

If you give her what she needs, trust us— she'll return the favor

Let's get one thing straight: Missionary sex is awesome. There’s something satisfying and comforting about relying on a position that you've done a thousand times before. But for many of us out there, there are a million things we want to do in bed that we just haven't yet. Maybe you want to do it on the kitchen counter, or maybe you have a secret spanking fetish that you’re just itching to try out. But if your girlfriend's sexual tastes tend to skew more vanilla than Chunky Monkey, it might be hard to approach this topic, lest you insult her or, even worse, scare her away.
If you’re looking to up the ante between the sheets, here are a few tips on how to spice it up to suit your tastes, while at the same time making sure she feels safe and comfortable.
1) Make her feel sexy.
It might go without saying, but let’s say it anyway. If you want your lady to do sexy things, you have to make her feel sexy. Chances are you already feel like she's incredibly sexy, but a little compliment goes a long way. The sexier and more empowered she feels, the more likely she’ll be confident enough to try new things. (And for tips on what you actually should be trying, check out 7 things women wish you knew about sex.)
“Compliment her butt, her breasts, her hair, her eyes — all of the specific areas of her body you love. Of course she is so much more than her glorious body parts, but if you want more adventurous sex, keep the talk unabashedly sexy,” says Holly Richmond, somatic psychologist.
2) Pace yourself.
Jumping right in and telling your girlfriend you’re super interested in trying butt stuff will almost certainly scare her off. If your girlfriend is used to vanilla sex, or has expressed shyness in trying new things, you can’t push her into the deep end without a life jacket. The more confident she feels at each level, the more likely it is that you’ll get to whatever glorious new sex tip or couples' sex toy you'd like to try.
“Go slow and communicate with your partner about what you both are thinking, feeling, and doing. It is essential that you both have open dialogue as any new sexual activity is put on the table,” says Daniel Lebowitz, a sex therapist with The Intimacy Institute. “I oftentimes recommend that a couple talk about a fantasy of theirs, playing it out verbally before trying to make it happen in real life. That way, you can find any roadblocks or topics of discomfort before they actually happen. Concern for your partner and the relationship are indispensable to building trust and safety when exploring sexually.”
3) Tell her what you already like (emphatically).
There’s a chance that if you suggest new moves in the bedroom, your girlfriend might take it to mean that you aren’t satisfied with what you are already doing. Even if that is true, you don’t want to insult her or give her more reasons to be insecure. Complimenting the things about your sex life that you do enjoy will help to open the door for suggestions on how to improve or introduce new ideas, which you can also get from our course on how to have better sex.
“For men who want to be more adventurous, I'd encourage them to open a conversation with their partner about their sex lives. Tell their partner what they like about sex together, for example, starting with something like ‘I can't stop thinking about that thing you did with your tongue the other night!’, and then lead into a conversation about something they'd like to try,” says Debby Herbenick, professor at Indiana University School of Public Health. “Or they could simply say to their partner how much they like or love them (whichever is true), how much they enjoy sex together, and that they've been thinking about new things they'd like to try.”
4) Be specific.
It’s noble to speak up about what you want. But telling your girlfriend that you’d like to be more adventurous in the bedroom is a tad vague, especially for someone who is shy about trying new things. Telling her you like dirty talk is great, but if she’s never done it before she might not know where to begin. Give her specific keywords, for example, that you like to hear to help get her talking. Ask her questions to help guide her. Suggest watching porn together. Ask her if she wants to try introducing sex toys. And when she takes the lead, let her run with it. This should be a give and take.
“Leave open-ended ideas she can explore on her own. There are dozens of books on how to spice things up,” says Emily DeAyala, an AASECT (The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) certified sex therapist. “One of my personal favorites is 101 Nights of Great Sex. The pages are sealed 'for her' and 'for him' so that each partner can take turns surprising each other with something new. Sometimes you don't know what you don't know. Encourage her to get ideas from books like this. This will help her feel more in control.”
5) Enter her Fantasyland
Granted upping the level of adventure in the bedroom is probably about your own personal desires, but if you allow your girlfriend to share her desires, it ups the level of intimacy, trust, and comfort. It's quite literally tit for tat. Encourage your girlfriend to share what turns her on. Coming through for her on her wishes and desires will fill her with confidence and desire to return the favor.
“He might begin the conversation with fantasies. When she masturbates, what does she think about? What turns her on? If she likes porn, what type of porn interests her. Here, he needs to be secure enough in himself that he might learn that what she likes isn't what he can provide,” says Tom Murray, a certified sex therapist and family/marriage therapist. “Nevertheless, fantasies are just that, fantasies. Fantasies may never be realized, nor should they, necessarily. This just begins the conversation and lays the groundwork for exploration.”
6) Talk about your insecurities.
In other words, level the playing field. Being naked, showing your bits, having your bits touch someone else’s bits...it’s fraught with anxiety and insecurity. If your girlfriend is shy in the bedroom, it would greatly help her to know what you feel shy about as well. We all have our insecurities (yes, even you, you sexual stallion, you), and if she knew a few of yours, it might help her to see you as someone she can easily relate to in the sexual realm.
“Although men oftentimes act like they are fine with their body image, the long line of men walking in the door to my office speaking about their struggles with feeling feeling unattractive and unable to measure up in some way would indicate otherwise,” says Lebowitz. “When you share your insecurities, they no longer hold the same power over you and it models how your partner can speak about them to you and mutual support and reassurance can be part of the relationship.”
7) No always means no.
Just because you ask, doesn’t mean she has to say yes. And if she says no, you either have to be OK with that, or you might have to reconsider if this is the right relationship for you. No one should be made to feel uncomfortable in a relationship, especially in the bedroom. Your happiness is just as important as hers, and if neither of you is getting what you want, it might be time to move on. But typically where there is communication, openness, honesty, and trust, mind-blowing sex tends to follow. So don't be shy about asking. You both might be surprised at all the doors that open.

10 New Places to Have Sex

Ditch the bedroom and try something a little more exotic

If men weren't great explorers, we never would have found America, the Rockies, or scrambled porn on channel 99. So why should our entire sex life always take place in the same spot? Here's our list of the best places to fool around.
On the Washer
Your washing machine produces more vibration than any other appliance in your home. When your butt's on the lid, the motion is transmitted through your pelvis, essentially turning your member into a life-size vibrator.
In the Vault
To really add some spice to your sex life, make a quick stop at your bank. A safe-deposit-box room is quiet, the door is locked, and there's no camera. It's a great place to make a deposit and withdraw.
At Victoria's Secret
The best dressing rooms for sex are at Victoria's Secret. Sometimes they have love seats in there. Ask the saleswoman if you can go in to make sure you like what your girlfriend is trying on.
In a Beanbag Chair
You can contour it to any shape, and it'll support you in ways you're not accustomed to. Doggy-style sex works great when she's on her belly, draped over the amorphous blob (the chair, not you).
During Christmas at the In-Laws
Bring the kids' gifts—wrapped, but in a bag. Say you haven't wrapped them yet and duck into a spare room.
A '57 Chevy
That's our nostalgic choice. For more practical men, it's the Ford Excursion, which measures a romp-friendly 227 inches long. As one salesman put it, "It'll hold 36 sheets of half-inch plywood between the wheel wells." Which is one way of thinking of it.
A Large Swiss Ball
The ball can actually help improve your depth of penetration, if you're in the right position. Sit on the ball and have her straddle you, facing away from you. Hold her hips for balance, and use the rocking motion of the ball to thrust in and out of her from behind. Do one set of at least 50 repetitions.
A National Park
If the missus likes to vocalize, pitch your tent in Alaska's Denali National Park, where 6 million untamed acres and a crowd-thinning permit system leave little risk of waking the neighbors. She'll gasp in delight when the midnight sun bathes the Big One (that's Mt. McKinley, buddy) in salmon pink light.
The Elevator
Try a freight elevator. It won't have an alarm, and you can stop it between floors for more privacy. Try this when you and your partner are helping a buddy move into a new apartment. Pack the front and sides of the elevator with boxes; leave the middle clear.
The Garage
At a friend's party, offer to fetch some more beer, then slip out the garage door. Nobody will think anything of you being away for 20 minutes, and you can always hide behind the car if you hear someone coming.